The Quiet Strength of Equanimity

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I visited George Washington University only once, dropping off my older sister for college, where she would go on to join a sorority and be crowned homecoming queen. Sixty one years later, I find myself chanting the refuges in Pali at my YouTube screen alongside a group of road worn South Asian Theravada monks, welcomed by the president of GW after walking 2,300 miles from their unlikely home base in Fort Worth, Texas. Nothing about this moment is something I could have imagined at age thirteen, not to mention thirteen months ago.

Along the way, they have touched the hearts and minds of millions. Beyond the route itself, almost nothing was planned. State governors spontaneously greeted them and proclaimed days of peace. Devout Christians in the Deep South called them messengers of Jesus. In Washington, DC, they were received by Nancy Pelosi and Hakeem Jeffries. Thousands gathered along the National Mall as Bhikkhu Paññākāra led a lovingkindness meditation at the Lincoln Memorial, his faithful dog Aloka by his side.

This is the quiet power of equanimity.

The Dalai Lama wrote them a letter of support. If they were alive today, I believe Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, and many other leaders of nonviolent resistance would have done the same.

As my publication date approaches, the unprecedented levels of cruelty and degradation spewing out from the “leader of the free world” have caused me to question my own commitment to equanimity. Is it enough? Can it meet the horrors we face today, the interlocking crises of climate change and rising autocracy, the relentless greed and destruction driving ever widening economic inequality?

The contrast could not be more stark. Nineteen brown skinned monks living lives of radical modesty, bound by the Vinaya’s 227 rules of conduct, observing eight precepts that include celibacy, no handling of money, eating only what is freely offered before noon, abstaining from intoxicants, luxury, and false speech. Their lives are defined by simplicity. In sharp contrast, oligarchs continue to pillage the planet with reckless abandon, exploiting people and resources alike in a deluded attempt to satisfy their insatiable greed.

The monks’ message has been simple and unwavering. Peace in the world begins with peace in the heart. Step by step, they have embodied the quiet dignity and strength of equanimity, and it has spread outward as a contagion of kindness and goodwill. In their worn robes, alms bowls slung over their shoulders, accompanied by the stray “pariah” dog who adopted them on a previous peace walk in India, they call forth the better angels of our nature. A siren song our hearts long to hear and recognize immediately.

I encourage you to read the stories of people who stood for hours in freezing sleet and snow simply to watch them pass by like this meteorologist from Charlotte, NC or this artist from Tucson, Arizona.

“There’s something happening here,” as Buffalo Springfield once sang.

History reminds us that transformation often begins in ways no one anticipates. No one predicted that Nelson Mandela would walk calmly out of Robben Island and dismantle apartheid. No one predicted that Rosa Parks’ quiet refusal to give up her seat would ignite a boycott that reshaped federal law.

The Buddha and Bad Bunny agree: love is more powerful than hate, and “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but through love alone is healed. This is the eternal law.”*

Peace and equanimity are not passivity. They are forms of resistance. They can change the world. As tempting as it is to get pulled into outrage or despair, I stand by equanimity.  May it bring clarity and quiet power to your engagement with the world.

And, from the last line in my upcoming book, Quiet Strength:

May each of us find a way to bring balance and tenderness to this floating world, moment by moment, drop by drop.

With love and care,

Margaret

*The Dhammapada (Verse 5)

📚 Upcoming Events for Quiet Strength

Bay Book Area Launch
📍 Book Passage, Corte Madera
🗓 March 21, 1 p.m.
With Rick Hanson and Barbara Bogatin, SF Symphony cellist.

San Diego
📍 Warwick’s Books, La Jolla
🗓 April 23, 7:30 p.m.
In conversation with Cassi Vieten and co-sponsored by the UCSD Center for Mindfulness

Boulder
📍 Boulder Bookstore 🗓 May 5, 6:30 p.m.
In conversation with Barry Boyce.

Recent Interviews

The Compassion in a T-Shirt podcast with Dr. Stan Steindl is now out. You can hear the episode below. And in case you missed last month’s podcast debuts, here are a couple to listen to: Meditations with Gregory T. Obert, in the episode “3 Ways to Improve Your Life: Margaret Cullen’s Lessons on Equanimity,” as well as on Your Sleep Guru, where I explored equanimity, mindfulness, and emotional resilience.

Update

I’m pleased to share that I recently joined psychologist Dr. Risa Ryger for an IG Live on Disruptive Conversations, where we explored equanimity, emotional regulation, and what it really means to cultivate quiet strength in uncertain times. It was a thoughtful, honest dialogue that I’m grateful to be part of. You can watch the conversation here.

I am also writing a blog for Psychology Today called “Quiet Strength,” where I explore equanimity, resilience, and the steadiness that sustains us in uncertain times. I hope you’ll follow along.